Back seat driver

I need to write this post today. WHAT A DAY!!! Not only am I getting over some sort of nasty winter cold, Lincoln is being more of a terror than usual. When I say more of a terror, I mean over-tired horrific tantrumed hitting screaming throwing TERROR!!! Hello, terrible two's; I was wondering when you'd rear your ugliness.

So here are some sweet memories of my little back seat driver to warm my spirits:

Diet Coke is my all-time favorite. You can just skip over the part about how the caffeine will rob my bones of calcium, make me more prone to migraines and muscle spasms, not to mention the unnecessary calories from a sugary soda drink, despite the label of "Diet". I love the stuff! And since I only drink the fountain version (it tastes different, yes it does), I only get it when we eat out, which is not that often.
Anyway, one day when I had a huge list of errands to run, I decided to stop by a fast food restaurant to get a bite for me and the kids (you can shoot me now... shameless!). And before I even got up to the window to order anything, Lincoln speaks up: "Ummmm, Diet Coke." I guess I should cut back my intake just a wee bit... I just about died laughing!

When I have to load the kids in the car, I let Lincoln get in the front seat and 'drive' for a little while until I have Orion clipped in. This has become my saving grace since we have a coupe and will not be getting a different car any time soon (so sad, another post). There was a stretch of time where he discovered the horn and would honk it like crazy. Every time after, when I would see him go for the horn, he would be warned with a 'no honking' or he would not get to drive. This little warning went on for a few days until the novelty of the horn wore off.
Weeks after that, I was cut off by someone pretty badly and dangerously, so I was leaning on my horn to show my, ahem, road rage. It may have been a bit excessive, but my babies were in the car and the mother bear in me rose up! There was nothing but quiet in the car for 10 seconds, then Lincoln says, in a really serious voice (copying my serious voice) "No honking!" He even wagged his finger, for shame... I got served! :)

I hope you got a laugh out of those! And thankfully, writing them down convinced me to keep him for a few more days... :)

*Just in case anyone was wondering, I am planning on keeping my son... it's just been a little stressful with Bryan gone A LOT. Every mom with a husband owning a business and schooling full time simultaneously totally understands my frustration when your kid redecorates your entire bathroom with pee and toilet water. The ENTIRE bathroom. But I will not dewll on that too much...

4 devoted readers:

Edeninc said...

Your random humor and hinting comments are hilarious! Keep up the good typing!

Carli Webb said...

That is funny stuff. And by the way, don't be ashamed about fast food and soda. My poor child probably gets wendy's, chinese and Mcdonalds like 3 times a week! haha!

Tiffany said...

Amen sista! It is so tough not having Hyrum around to help out. Especially by the end of the day, I am just so tired and outwhelmed by the day that I just cannot take anymore. I seriously count down the minutes till bedtime sometimes. and my husband is not gone nearly as much as yours!

Lianna said...

that is hilarious! Dean orders too, he says "ummm... I want chicken, french fries, water" It's pretty funny what they copy.
Hang in there, I can tell you are handling things great, you don't have to be perfect, as long as you still love them. I loved the family pics too.