6/19/08

Reflecting on the present

Wow, I have been feeling so much like I have been put through the ringer lately.

No, stirred up in a huge pot of scalding hot wash, scrubbed out on a rough wash board, then put through the ringer a few times for good measure. If anyone has ever had an extremely difficult time financially, I can totally empathize with you!

I am not writing this for anyone to feel sorry for me or try to make me feel 'better', but mostly just for myself so I can get it out on paper (so to speak) and stop beating myself up and spinning my wheels. This year has not been kind to the Harrison family; each month with Phoenix Industries there has been a major setback, so much so that I keep wondering if it's still worth it to own the business. It's kinda funny, because our first year was so phenomenal, and it's usually the 1st year that's the hardest. I suppose that it is my personal M.O.; it was the same way with our marriage. The first year was awesome and stress free, the second year??? Crazy unstable and scary (just to clarify, NOT OUR RELATIONSHIP!!! I love Bryan very much, as he does me. I meant that life around us was unstable!).

The one constant throughout all our issues is the amazing support we have from our families. And not to mention, what doesn't destroy you makes you stronger. I've found that this also applies in marriages. In ours, anyway. We have had so many things thrown (hurled is more appropriate) in our direction, that we have had no choice but to either blame one another and fall apart, or hunker down in the barracks and hold on tight to each other for protection. We have both chosen the latter, and it makes these insane unknowns seem slightly bearable.

So, what is the moral of the story? Pray. Read your scriptures. Listen and follow the Holy Ghost. Pay your tithing. All of those standard Primary/Seminary answers that all of us take for granted. They are simple for a reason. And doing all these things will protect us.

I have had an extremely emotional few weeks. (not to mention the fact that I am still topsy turvy with post pregnancy hormones and my hair is STILL falling out!) At times it feels like we will never get to see the light at the end of the tunnel, like we are destined for poverty our whole lives, like we will be living where we are now for the rest of our lives, with our crackhead pot smoking neighbors and all twenty of their whiny imposing kids! I'm sure that a lot of young married couples with a small family in tow feels/have felt the same way, and I know that the more experienced couples KNOW what I'm talking about! I just... I just get tired of fighting sometimes.

Like I said before, this blog is to merely get a few things off of my chest and become positive again, and to get past the most recent development in our lives. So I guess I've said it all, or at least all that I am going to go public with! It's definitely time for bed.

6 devoted readers:

queenieweenie said...

Sarah...I didn't even know you guys had a carpet business! I totally need mine done. We've live in our house with 4 kiddos for 5 years now and my carpet is driving me nuts! I haven't been very happy with the last couple times we've had it cleaned. The tracks just keep coming back. We looked into replacing it but just don't have a spare 5 grand sitting around. Email me aweenig@mac.com and we'll set something up (probably in July with the next paycheck).

Anyway...I know you weren't trolling for business but we'd be happy to throw you some.

The economy sucks right now. It's been hard on everyone. I'm having to juggle work and four kiddos home from the summer and sometimes I wish I could just sit at the beach with them all day :(

Tabatha said...

Keep at it girl! I think as women running the house, buying the groceries, usually paying the bills, thinking ahead for birthdays, and the fact that the kids need clothes, and the fact that all the clothes you have are maternity that you've been wearing since basically the first pregnancy, we tend to get bogged down and discouraged sometimes. That's why we band together and pick each other up. Not to mention Bryan and you are a great couple who are strong together and in the gospel. Keep your spirits up, and when you can't, that's what friends are for.

Raadgep Fam said...

Life can be very hard and sometimes you just want to throw in the towel, BUt you cant so just remember that this to shall pass like a KIDNEY STONE! LOL

Hang in there!

Katie said...

I'm sorry to hear how hard things are right now. Life can cetainly be stinky at times and others smell like roses. I hope things pick up for you soon!!
And sorry to take so long about the jogging stroller. I had to double check with a brother to make sure they didn't want it. Which they don't. So, it's yours for free if you want it. Another brother gave it to us and we hadn't planned on selling it, just wanted to give it to someone who could use it. I do have to say however, that it's not an easy thing to put up or take down. Since we're living at my parents right now we have been able to keep it up 24/7. Let me know if you would still want it or would like to check it out.

Carli Webb said...

f it makes you feel any better, I know exactly how you feel! My hubby buisiness was great the first year, now I think it will go bankrupt this month. Way sad! I just keep thinking that someday things will be better. Just keep doing what your doing knowing your not in this alone!

Brooke said...

You are SO not in it alone girl!! I'm totally there with ya. Having a student for a hubby is extremely difficult. Living dollar to dollar is not easy, and certainly not desirable. I'm sure you already know that you aren't the only ones having to go through MAJOR finance issues, but it might help to hear from someone anyway. Cause we are too! We'll get through! Just like you said, do the basics!