Adventures in feces

Yeah, scary title! Our story begins on a lovely blustery Sunday afternoon. The Harrison family has a long standing tradition of the Sunday nap. All four of us take a nice nap on Sunday after church. It's great to be able to do it (no after church meetings for us anymore/yet), so we take advantage where we can.

Lincoln has been boycotting the naps lately. This doesn't bother us too much, as his doorknob has a lock on it facing outward (Honestly, if you think this is cruel, you need to spend an entire day with him and try to make him take a nap/go to sleep at night. After you do that, then you can bring on the protesting, lol!), for his safety, and my sanity!
Anyway, it takes him a while to settle down as it is, so when I hear him banging around in his room, I'm not overly concerned.
I took a nice long nap. Orion snoozed peacefully. Bryan slept great. Lincoln did not sleep. At. ALL. I remember waking up during my nap, and Bryan telling me that he wasn't asleep yet. I was enjoying my nap too much to do anything about it, so I hurridly went back to sleepy-land.
Hours have passed. We are all up, and refreshed from our siestas. Orion is in my arms, waiting to be changed. Bryan is up, more than likely on the computer. Then I hear a very sleepy moaning in Lincoln's room. It's the sound where your kids just got woken up unintentionally, they are still sleepy, and getting louder by the minute. So I did what I normally do, and opened his door.

Lincoln decorated his room in POOP!
When I say his room, I mean his ROOM! The walls, his toys, his sheets, his blankets, his hands, Orion's crib (which has been set up since day 1 but has never been able to sleep in because apparently Lincoln doesn't like to share a room), the carpet, even the doorknob is covered in the stuff! Wow, I must have a budding artist, because he even textured the walls in a Jackson Pollock-like manner. Lucky me.
I was so stunned, I had no words! Then Bryan got a whiff... wow! Lincoln was awarded with a not-so-warm bath, and a stern talking to. He was visibly upset and sorry. (I restrained myself quite well and didn't freak out too much) And Bryan got the very best award... he got to clean the carpets, protein spotter and all!
Don't worry, I got my little prize, too. I got to clean the walls. Yummy. And by the time we got to Lincoln (we don't really know what time the prepetrator defaced the walls), his poop was already dried up in little drywall-like clumps on the walls. Oh, goody. He even took special care to get it on the baseboards. If anything, he is thorough. I went through an entire cylinder of clorox wipes, then Lysol to boot.
One great thing came out of this ordeal. It obviously left a huge impression on Lincoln that this was the WRONG thing to do. That very night, he woke up around midnight (what a surprise, we were still up), knocked on his door (remember, the locked one!), and said he needed the potty. And did he ever! He filled up that potty pretty well, even though he could have used his diaper to pee in. Yay for Lincoln! Since the poopy incident, he has been awesome in the potty department. So I'm happy (???) for his artistic poop. And let it be a lesson to me that he's actually ready to be potty trained; I shouldn't be so lazy about it!

7 devoted readers:

Dan~Kerstin~Bree said...

Your mom told me a similar story I think about your sisters. It must be one of those things kids do it at least once. Bree did it in her crib and I was mortified. Good thing you have a carpet cleaner!

Tiffany said...

Wow! I am completely speechless!

Melody said...

Where are the pics? lol:)

The Stokes Family said...

My boy did this a few times --- Not Fun! I scrubbed the walls so hard I had to repaint! Your kids and Brayden sound too much alike! So fun! but so Crazy! Brayden's door knob is turned around too...

shay said...

still laughing! THank heavens Bryan is in the right business for this kind of clean-up!!! I have to say, this is one thing NONE of my SIX kiddos have attempted...yet..and I'm not giving them any ideas!

Alyosha said...

Holy cow! I also lock my kids in, so don't feel bad.

One time, when Caelyn was young, she woke up and cried during the night but we ignored her, per our training methods. In the morning, there was vomit all over, and it smelled SO bad! I felt horrible.

The Wattson Family said...

SICK!!! I would rather deal with vomit than poop! At least it gave him a shove in the right direction...potty training yay! The less diapers to change the better. Word to the wise, when they say they have to pee or poop believe them and get them to a bathroom YESTERDAY! The realization is soon followed by the action so RUN!